Sick Day & Vampire
by malonkey1
Summary: Tsukune's out sick, and all the characters begin to suffer from 'main character inaction syndrome' as minor chaos ensues.
1. Intro

Sick Day + Vampire

_**This one is mostly full of little vignettes and anecdotes , each dealing with the simple core question: 'What the hell do you do when the main character is out sick?'**_

Eoin and Ruby were having a pleasant conversation at the front gate one fine morning, when Tsukune walked up. "Hi, Eoin-san. Hi, Ruby-san." Tsukune rasped, his voice dragging its feet as it left his mouth. He looked worse than Margaret Thatcher on a paricularly hung-over New Year's Day. "Tsukune-san, you look like crap!" Eoin stated. "Oh, Tsukune-san, are you okay? You look sick. Let me feel your forehead," Ruby said, holding Tsukune. "_hhhhh!_" Tsukune wheezed affirmatively. At that moment, Moka walked up. "Good morning, Ruby-san, Eoin-san. Good morning Tsukune-san! I, um, didn't get a chance to have breakfast, so, um, could I have a snack, Tsukune?" Before Tsukune could answer, Eoin immediately stopped her. "Based on his fever, upper respiratory symptoms, and general fatigue, I would guess Tsukune has seasonal H1N1, more commonly referred to as the flu. While I may be immune due to past infection, if we let Tsukune out and about, he could start a plague of trans-species influenza, and I, as a scientist and decent person in general, cannot allow that to happen." "What could happen, Eoin-san?" Ruby asked. "I'm glad you asked, Ruby-san," Eoin replied, as he recounted gruesome tales of Youkai-human plagues, from the Black Plague to HIV. "...and that is why Tsukune has to be quarantined. Any questions? _N'ont rien_? Good."


	2. I Have No One to Watch!

**I Have No One to Watch!**

[_Hello. My name is Shirayuki Mizore. I am a Yuki-Onna, and I am Tsukune-san's soulmate._]

Homeroom

Mizore walked in to class that morning, looking forward to a full day of stalking Tsukune. This was not to be, however, as Tsukune was under quarantine. "Good morning, Mizore-san. How are you today?" Eoin greeted Mizore, only to be ignored, as usual. "Where is Tsukune-san? I was looking for him all morning" Mizore said, ignoring whatever Nekonome-Sensei was saying. "I heard he died," one student whispered. Another said, "Yeah, well I heard that he ran off with some human woman." The rumors came, some scary, some funny, and some just, well, dirty. Eoin eventually dispelled the rumors by saying, "First of all, that's disgusting, Haru-san. Never say that. Second, don't worry. Tsukune-kun has the flu, so he's under quarantine, that's all." _Quarantine?_ Mizore thought, W_hat am I supposed to do now? _

_After class..._

"Hey, Mizore-san!" Eoin was walking up to Mizore, hoping to have a real conversation with her. "Oh, hello, Eoin-san," Mizore stated half-heartedly. "Mizore-san! Is something wrong? You look a little upset," Eoin aked, trying his best to socialize, which was not exactly his strong suit. "Tsukune-san's sick the whole day. I can't see him," Mizore stated. "You know what, Mizore? I think you could use some cheering up. How about I treat you to- [Holy crap!]" Eoin punctuated his sentence quite swiftly upon seeing Moka lying, immobile, on the floor.


	3. Delirious Thirst

Delirious Thirst

Math Class

Moka was still a little confused, but was resigned to her fate of a day without Tsukune. She was hard at work doing binomial divisions, while Ririko-Sensei was explaining it a second time for some of the less mathematically apt students. All the while, she was wondering, _Will Tsukune-san be okay by tomorrow? And if he isn't, what will I do then? What if he never gets better?_ While Moka was pondering the grim possibility that she may never hold, or even see, Tsukune again, she visibly shuddered. As class eventually wound down to a close, she got up, and stumbled, almost imperceptibly, on her way out. As she walked, she tripped and fainted. Eoin and Mizore, who had been walking by, found her and immediately carried her to the infirmary.

When she awoke, Moka found herself in a strange room. There were spooky-looking instruments on a nearby table, and Moka's sense of foreboding was worsened by the pained wail coming from a meter or so away, behind on of the many curtains. Moka quietly stood, sneaking over to a nearby window, when a scaled hand grabbed her shoulder. Moka spun, and found only a smiling Ruby behind her. "You really shouldn't be up right now, Moka. You just fainted a little while ago," Ruby warned, leading Moka back to her cot to lie down. _What was that just now? Am I hallucinating? _Moka wondered silently, drifting back to sleep.


	4. Checking in on Tsukune

**Checking in on Tsukune**

"Ack! Cough!" Tsukune coughed violently, his throat burning. "_Ruby-san...I need some water, please!_" he called out, his dead, rasping voice barely carrying far enough to be heard. "Just a moment, Tsukune! I'm just signing in a patient," Ruby answered from the front desk, while she and the nurse were carrying a student in, who had had a nasty fall in the gym, on a stretcher. They carefully set him on a cot, as the nurse tended to his injuries. Ruby walked up to Tsukune with a glass of water and a heating pad. "Are you feeling any better, Tsukune-san?" She asked, as Tsukune quickly drank the water. "A little," Tsukune managed to squeak, his voice grinding its way out of his dry, brittle throat. As Ruby watched him, he slowly began to drift into sleep, while Ruby drifted away into her own reveries. As she gazed out into the middle distance, she began to daydream of a day with a less infectious Tsukune. Her thoughts lazily rolled down a river of fantasy, starting with a quiet breakfast, flowing into a walk in the forest, and as this went on, she remained completely unaware of the crashing sounds in the background.

"Ruby-san!" Ruby was dragged out of her pleasant reverie by a familiar voice, "Ruby-san! Wake up! You've got a really creepy smile on your face right now!" Moka said, shaking Ruby back to Earth. "Hm? What is it, Moka? What are you doing up?" Ruby asked, still a little sleepy. Moka promptly replied with, "Eoin and Gin are fighting! They just burst in through the wall!"


	5. Moka Needs a Drink!

**Moka Needs a Drink!**

Moka woke up in a daze. _Ugh. My throat is so dry!_ As she got up, her head bagan to swim. She tried again, slowly, and succeeded. When she opened the curtain, she was stunned to find that the room around her was shifting and warping. She shook her head to dispel her delirium long enough to get a can of tomato juice. As she drank, she thought about Tsukune. _I hope Tsukune is feeling better. I can't wait to see him again._ As she thought this last thought she began to salivate slightly. "Moka-san?" Ruby was standing behind Moka. "Are you feeling better, Moka-san?" Ruby asked tentatively. "Yes, I feel much better, now. I was just...very thirsty," Moka said, wiping her mouth. Tsukune wobbled out from behind his curtain just then. "Tsukune!" Ruby and Moka both said, Moka excitedly, and Ruby with concern in her voice. "Is Tsukune-san feeling better?" Moka asked, walking unsteadily towards him. Tsukune nodded, stumbling forwards. Before Moka could finally drink Tsukune's blood, Ruby stepped in. "Tsukune-san needs all his strength to fight off this flu. I can't let you drink his blood." Ruby stood resolute, refusing to give a centimeter. Moka shrugged and went back to bed. The next moment, there was a muffled crash in the distance, and Ruby led Tsukune back to his cot.


	6. Eoin's Solution

**Eoin's Solution**

Mizore stepped out on to the roof. _I wonder what's going on? Someone left this strange note on my desk earlier._

_Earlier that day..._

Mizore is trying to read a sentence in English, to little avail. As she tried to read, she thought she heard a sound behind her. As she turned to look, Eoin walked by her desk, and discreetly placed a note on it. The note read, in clumsy, but still legible Japanese: "Meet me on the roof immediately after classes let out. I can help cheer you up. -'E'"

Mizore walked out to find a small table, complete with tablecloth sitting on the rooftop. "What is this?" Mizore asked no one in particular. "This, madam, is my solution to your problem," Eoin said, stepping out from a shaded area, with a box in one arm, and a black case in the other. "You see, I noticed that you were feeling depressed today, and, considering you and the rest of newspaper club are the closest thing I have to friends here, I thought I would try to give a nice gesture and cheer you up." As he spoke, he produced a projector and a stack of video cases from the box, as well as a folding projector screen. What he didn't realize, was that the very spot upon which he was setting up his projector assembly was only meters away from where a certain Morioka Ginei knelt, taking pictures of a questionable persuasion.

"What are you doing, Gin-senpai?" Eoin asked, thinking that Gin was taking harmless photographs of the school. "Eh!" Gin squawked, surprised by Eoin's question. "I'm, uh, taking pictures..." Gin said, looking side to side. Eoin was genuinely interested, and then he thought for a moment, and it finally hit him. "You're a peeper! A perv! A 'creepy Steve'! And you were taking photographs a mere 2 meters from us!" Eoin advanced on Gin, and before he realized what was going on, had swiped Gin's camera from his hands. "HEY! Gimme dat! You can't take that from me!" Gin said, trying to take it back from him. "No. I am going straight to Mikogami-koucho! You are in for it! I wouldn't be surprised if you got _expelled_!"


	7. The End of the Story

**The End of the Story**

_The Infirmary_

Moka woke a third time, this time a crash outside the window. She got up, feeling much more rested, and walked over to Ruby. "Ruby-san?" Ruby was gazing off into the middle distance, as stated in previously, a 'creepy' smile affixed to her face. "Ruby-san! Wake up! You have a really creepy smile on your face right now!" Moka shook Ruby, Ruby woke up, I should hope you have read this already.

_Moments Earlier..._

"I'm going straight to Mikogami-Koucho! You are in for it! I wouldn't be surprised if you got _expelled_!" At that moment, Eoin's horrible butterfingers kicked in, as he swung his arm in a wide arc, attempting to keep the camera away, and lost his grip, flinging the camera off into the distance, from which there was a loud CRACK heard only 2 seconds later. It was at that moment, that Gin probably snapped, as that was the moment when he turned towards Eoin with a look of silent rage. ["Oh, crap."] Eoin said, and followed up with, "I'm sorry, Gin-senpai! I didn't mean to throw the camera! It slipped!" Eoin silenced him with a punch to the nose, as he morphed into Youkai form. _Oh, crap, he's a werewolf!_ Eoin lamented internally, _Wait! It's a new moon tonight! He should be at his weakest! I might live! Yay!_ The fight began, as Gin moved toward Eoin, while Eoin changed into his true form: A White Rakshasa."You picked a bad day to fight me, Gin-kun! It's a new moon, in broad daylight!" Eoin pointed out, taking a swipe at Gin, and only narrowly missing his face. As the fight continued, neithert of them realized that they were edging closer and closer to the edge. Then, suddenly, Eoin used the full force of all four of his limbs to lunge at Gin, sending them both careening madly off the edge of the rooftop, as Mizore went to go get the others.

"You ruined my camera!" Gin cried, delivering a punishing jab to Eoin's chest, as Eoin riposted with a swipe to the face with his claws, yelling, "With what you were using it for, it was already ruined!" Eventually, they finally came crashing through the wall, both badly beaten, as the others rushed into the room. "Don't kill him, Gin! It was just a camera!" Kurumu yelled, as Tsukune quietly stepped into the room. "What's going on, Moka?" Tsukune asked, more than a little confused. As Mizore explained, the fight didn't seem to be letting up any. Finally, after enough explanation, Tsukune decided to call an end to this madness as only he can: He removed Moka's Rosary.

**WHEN THE ROSARY AROUND HER NECK IS REMOVED, MOKA'S VAMPIRIC INNER NATURE AWAKENS!**

"You two should know better than to fight over such petty things." Inner Moka admonished. "So I wasn't hallucinating last week! There _are_ two Moka!" Eoin said, not realizing the gravity of their situation. "Oh, crap!" Gin yelled, realizing the gravity of their situation. "What? What's going on?" Eoin was looking around, uncertain of what was happening. "[I thought you would be on better behavior as a visitor. Oh, well.] Know your place!" and with that last sentence, Gin and Eoin were sent sailing across the room. As Moka advanced on them, apparently readying another kick, Eoin cried ["WAIT! You speak perfect English! Where did you learn that?"] ["My mother taught me,"] Moka said, slamming him with her foot.

_The next day..._

Eoin woke up in the infirmary with a brace on his leg, and his arm in a sling. "Good morning, Eoin-san," Tsukune and the others all said in unison. "Ugh, my head. Did anyone get the number of that Vampire that ran me down?" Eoin joked, immediately feeling a sharp pain in his stomach the moment he chuckled. "You really got off easy, Eoin!" Moka said, startling him to no end. "Don't worry, Eoin. I'm Omote (Outer) Moka." "Okay, then how's Gin-senpai? Is he as hurt as me?" Gin walked in at that moment, his arm in a sling, also, with some gauze and a few stitches on his face. "You're stronger than you look, Maloney. But you still can't compete with me," He said, smiling through the gauze. "Does this mean we have a truce?" Eoin asked, preparing to get up and run. "Yeah, it's cool. You owe me a camera, though." "Allright. It's at the top of my list. One more thing is nagging at me, though," Eoin said. "What is it?" "Is Kokoa still mad at me?"

[[Well, was pretty weird! I hope Tsukune doesn't get sick too often, or things might seriously go down! See you next time in Investigation + Vampire!]]


End file.
